Sunshine*

It has almost been a month since I fell into that depressive state of mind. Assessing my life right now, I must say it's better. For one, my brother Rem has decided to move here, to stay with his dear old sister. I have impressed him with my cooking skills, which was non-existent last year.

Two, summer is almost here. I cannot CANNOT wait to go on my planned adventures - zipline, white water rafting, hiking, Calgary Stampede. These things have to be done this summer. It is now or never. I have learned to stop procrastinating because it will lead me nowhere, and time must be well spent, wisely spent.

Three, connection with music is back again. For the past several months, I stopped listening to talented, well-written music. I feel I am getting back into the groove. Music is one of my main sources of therapy. It makes me cry, laugh, smile and brings me into a state of bliss.

Four, friends. New friends, old friends. This is the start to rekindle lost friendships, maintain great friendships and improve on budding friendships. I want to be a better friend to everyone.

It is kinda weird, but I feel summer is my new year. This is always the time I have the urgency to make amends/resolutions. It is the way the sunshine affects me, the way it falls on my eyes, it blinds me. It just emotionally turns me.

A Call for Apathy
The Shins
Untie me, I've said no vows
The train is getting way too loud
I gotta leave here my girl
Get on with my lonely life
Just leave the ring on the rail
For the wheels to nullify

Until this turn in my head
I let you stay and you paid no rent
I spent twelve long months on the lam
That's enough sitting on the fence
For the fear of breaking dams

I find a fatal flaw
In the logic of love
And go out of my head
You love a sinking stone
That'll never elope
So get used to the lonesome
Girl, you must atone some
Don't leave me no phone number there

It took me all of the year
To put the poison pill to your ear
But now I stand on honest ground, on honest ground
You want to fight for this love
But honey you cannot wrestle a dove
So baby it's clear

You want to jump and dance
But you sat on your hands
And lost your only chance
Go back to your hometown
Get your feet on the ground
And stop floating around

I find a fatal flaw
In the logic of love
And go out of my head
You love a sinking stone
That'll never elope
So get used to used to the lonesome
Girl, you must atone some
Don't leave me no phone number there